The God of Small Things
It feels like things are small and constrained. There is only so much physical space in this house, only so much connection one can make via texts or video chats, only so much energy that can be used to make meals, do laundry, teach kids, work, only so far we can stray from home. Things seem to take more effort than I remember too, something like running through water. I think there’s a collective weight that we’re all experiencing. Maybe our baseline amount of energy has lessened because of it. I find myself waking under the pressure of it. This situation seems to seep into everything, like a resin finding its way into cracks and crevices and then solidifying.
In some ways I think parenthood has prepared me for this. I’ve often felt like parenthood is survival and it is a victory to get from breakfast to bedtime. If everyone is alive and mostly unscathed, bonus points. There’s an unrelenting feeling to this crisis, the days blur into each other. The closest thing I have to compare it to is the intensity of a caring for a newborn and the inevitable sleep deprivation that accompanies that cute, crying, demanding, lovely child.
That’s just me though, for others there may be different situations that may have brought them to this point. Maybe an injury, mental health struggle, aging, or job difficulties. Parents don’t get to hold the monopoly on life being difficult.
I think there has often been an expectation in our society of being productive, of accomplishments. That is the bar of success that is held up. And expectations are hard when you’re in survival mode.
Did you go to work and make dinner and read a great story to your kids and have a spotless house?
Did you make a healthy breakfast and commute in an environmentally friendly way and do awesome at your job and have a super great conversation with your partner?
Did you get outside for a walk and phone all your kids and drop off groceries for your neighbour and finish a project around the house?
There are times where accomplishing a task is helpful and good. It can set a rhythm and routine to the day, it can help engage our mind, spirit, and soul but there are times, and there will certainly be times to come, where it will simply be too much. And that’s ok. There are times where it will be popcorn for dinner, and a quiet walk by yourself is a necessity, and a nap may be the best option. Where getting from breakfast to bedtime with everyone’s arms and legs all still attached is the measure of a successful day. Those are all ok.
God is still in those small things. When all you have the strength and ability for is to sit and read a book, God is in that. When you don’t have the social energy to check on the 10 people in your circle with individual phone calls so you send a group text, “Everyone ok?”, God is in that. When all you can do is slump down at the table with PB&J sandwiches, God is in that.
Matthew 11 tells us:
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Let us come to God with all the stuff in our lives that just feels like too much and let us seek rest for our bodies and our souls. Survival is ok, doing what we can is ok, God is in those small things.