Stay With Him

I watched with all my might for the moment when Christ’s life would slip away at last. I expected to see his body quite dead, but it did not happen. Then, just when I thought his life could not last a minute longer, and that this showing was about to reveal his final end, everything shifted. As I gazed upon the same crucifix, his facial expression suddenly changed to joy. The transformation of his blessed countenance transformed mine. I became as glad and as merry as I could be.

And then our Beloved cheerfully suggested to my mind, Is there any point to your pain or your grief, now? And I found that I was completely happy.

I realized that what Christ meant to show me is that we are hanging on the cross with him right now—in our pain, in our suffering, even in our dying—and that if we willingly stay with him there, he will, by his grace, convert all our distress to delight. He will suddenly change his appearance, and we will find ourselves with him in paradise. No time will elapse between the sorrowful state and the state of bliss. Everything will be reconciled in joy. This is what he meant when he asked me what the point was of my pain and grief now.

And so shall we be fully blessed.

Then I realized that if he were to show us his most blissful countenance now, no pain on earth (or any other place) could possibly trouble us.  We would experience everything as joy and bliss. But because he showed us an expression of the suffering he endured in this life, our fragile human nature causes our hearts to be troubled and demands that we labour with him on the cross.

Do not forget, however, that the reason he suffers is because, in his goodness, he wishes to bring us into his joy. In exchange for the bit of pain we endure in our lives, we will receive a transcendent, boundless knowledge of God, which we could never have without that portion of tribulation. The more intensely we suffer with him on his cross, the greater will be our glory when we are with him in his kingdom.

Revelations of Divine Love - Julian of Norwich

This is Holy Week. A week we are invited to ‘stay with him’, as Jesus walks towards the cross, towards death, and towards a transformation. It is a walk he must take alone, but he need not be lonely. We can stay with him, watch and pray, we can keep vigil. Keep your gaze fixed on him, his feet, his hands and upon his face.

His suffering, his death, his sorrow is for our sake, our grief, our joy, “Everything will be reconciled in joy. This is what he meant when he asked me what the point was of my pain and grief now”.

This past year has certainly brought unforeseen grief, sorrow, and even death to much of the world. Sure, there have been moments of joy, times for gratitude and opportunities for new things, but, by and large, the tone of our world has been one of grief and our posture as one of sorrow. 

In my job, at times, I sit in the most sacred of spaces as a person walks their final journey towards death. Like Jesus they must do it alone, but they need not be lonely. I can watch and pray and keep vigil. When it appears the time is very close I sit with them, take hold of their hand, and stroke their hair. I pray with them, letting them know they are not lonely, I am there, and there is one waiting for them, one waiting to take their hand from mine. And then I sing to them. As I sing, I watch their face relax, and I hear their breath calm until it stops. I sing them to death and into the arms of the one who knew them first. I stay with them.

This is what Julian of Norwich is inviting us to do this week with Jesus. Stay with him.